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facing 49

Tomorrow I turn 49. I know that the great milestones in life are 21, 30, 40, 50 and so on but I’ve always felt that the prep year is the hardest to take in. And so, in facing my 49th year, I am wondering about my future and reflecting on my past.

I’ve worked hard to fend off the aging process, and I am finally proud to say my actual age. For the longest time I lied – saying I was 15 years younger. At first it was to avoid the “No! You’re kidding me!” bullshit. Contrary to popular belief, not all vain people like attention (And yes I am slightly vain). Attention from the right person is wonderful, but there is no elegance in attention for the sake of attention. And so, upon reflection I thought I would jot down what I have picked up on my erratic path to my 49th year…

(not in any particular order)

Always follow your instincts – it’s your subconscious processing everything you know and spitting out suggestions. Listen to yourself.

Always be honest – with yourself especially, but also with others. Otherwise, you may keep getting the same cinnamon jelly [that you hate] for Christmas.

Don’t be ashamed of your decisions or beliefs. They are yours. Of course if you have sex with a friend’s husband/boyfriend then you should be ashamed of yourself – that is a bad decision. Don’t do anything you will be ashamed for – don’t be a slut.

Tell your friends when they have something in their teeth. Your friends are a reflection of you. If they are walking around with a spinach plastered smile, you are the asshole.

Being lonely is nothing to be ashamed of. Humans are pack animals. Otherwise we would be asexual. BE lonely. It’s okay. Don’t get involved with a man just because you are lonely. Nothing good can come of that.

Pull away from your circle of friends if you need to reboot. If they understand you, they will completely respect your wishes. If they are hurt by it, you may need new friends because apparently everything is about them.

Don’t walk around with a stick up your ass. You are no better than anyone else. Stop making that face. You know the one. It looks like you just smelled poop. Your face will wrinkle like that and you will be known as that cranky lady that lives in 2B with 5 cats.

Love unconditionally. Yeah, that term is thrown around a lot. Don’t let anyone walk all over you or treat you like a used condom, but when and if you choose to love, love wholly with acceptance and understanding.

Your 1st world problems are YOURS. Don’t unload all your stupid drama on everyone. It’s boring! Yes, talk to your closest intimate friends, and hopefully they do the same with you, but the taxi driver doesn’t care that your dog just died.

You do not have to explain unless specifically asked. When the cashier asks if plastic is okay, just say yes or no. You don’t have to explain why you want paper. She doesn’t care. Just say yes or no.

The grass is not always greener, sometimes it’s just a different color.

Tell your girlfriends how beautiful you think they are. Do not be jealous – and this may be hard for some women. That friend of yours that you think is prettier than you has all the same stupid body-bashing going on in her head that you do.

Take exceptional care of yourself – no one else is going to! Don’t put that donut in your body unless you can’t go another minute without it and it is the most delicious donut you have ever had because otherwise, it’s really not worth eating. And lotion people! Your skin needs it. And floss your teeth. Please floss. Take care of those teeth. That smile is usually the first thing people see.

And lastly (for now, because I am still figuring it all out too) 95% of the time, in general, people are not talking about you. I mean, if you did something really stupid like got drunk and became a cry baby at the bar whining about no one loving you – then yes! People will talk about you. But in general, we are all wrapped up in our own worlds.

So that is just a bit of what I have picked up. I am looking forward to making more mistakes, learning about the world at large and more about myself. 49. Wow.